My everyday face.

You have seen this face before. You know me. Full on laughter. Actually more than likely laughing too loud. Sparkling eyes. A genuine smile. Happiness that comes from inside. Some cute shoes and sweet earrings to accent. Love to bargain shop. Listen to about any kind of music. Likes good chocolate. Up for adventure. That is my everyday face. I am a Mormon.

I do not get caught up in politics. I do not push my religion. But I have found that the nation has warped views of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Mormons. The other day I saw a post that stated  Romney keeps his religion secret. Funny, I really don't think he does. Neither do the approximately 14 million other members. We are pretty open people.

I feel my purpose is to put the everyday face of Mormonism out there. Here it goes. (Keep in mind I have butterflies in my stomach as I post this.)

I was raised Presbyterian. I went to church every Sunday. I was active in our choirs and youth group. My best friends were from church. My sister joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when I was in fourth grade. So I knew about this church early on. After high school I went to Montreat-Anderson College, a small Presbyterian liberal arts college nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. I found dear friends. I met Billy and Ruth Graham, who live there. I was taught by men and women who believed in Christ and were invested in my education. I sowed some wild oats. A few acres!
After college I came to Ann Arbor, Michigan. I sowed some more oats. I went to church with my sister.
I knew I needed more. I was searching. I found it in July of 1989. I was baptized the end of July.

Here is the everyday face.
I believe in Jesus Christ. I know he died for my sins. I believe we have a prophet on the earth today. His name is Thomas S. Monson and he receives revelation. I believe in temple marriages where we can be sealed together for all time and eternity if we are faithful and remain true to our covenants. I believe we all have free agency. I am divorced and attend a church that has a strong focus on family. My ward is my family and my sisters are Tara, Sondra, Julie, Mylisa, Diane, Lisa, Linda, and Karin... and many more. I believe in the Word of Wisdom that helps to keep me balanced and healthy. I get on my knees every morning and pray that my Heavenly Father will watch and protect Peanut, Bean, and Iam no matter what their choices.

We may not believe the same things religiously, politically, or morally. But if you are reading this you know me. You know ME. The people I call "friend" are a mixed bag and I like it that way. If you have a question about Mormonism, please... just ask me. I will be happy to answer. Then we can go get some ice cream!


www.mormon.org
http://www.lds.org

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Trust. I have been working on this area of my life for the last couple of years. Once trust was broken in my marriage to Ed I had a difficult time trusting anyone. Ed, my kids, and especially myself. How could I trust my basic instincts? I won't go into the gory details but I had been so wrong regarding so much in our relationship. I had ignored signs, promptings, and the bitterly honest comments. What was good? What was right? What was trustworthy? 

I found there are two areas I needed to work on. 

One was my faith and trust in Heavenly Father.

The other was  relationships with....men.

Let's start with Heavenly Father, because that one I have down. I pray for guidance or answers. Then if I take the time to really listen and feel I will know the path that my Heavenly Father will have me take. I am not suggesting he answers me by saying "Yep, move here." "You got it girl. Leave that job." At this time in my life he provides me with a patience. When I went to him in prayer regarding my divorce I never received a "Yes." or "No." I had a calm assurance that what I was doing was correct. I never questioned those promptings. 

Men? Meh. I really struggled with this especially as I chose to enter the dating world online. Distance is a huge factor. I had to determine what was a flirt, what was real interest, and what was a player. I had to establish this from written word. I couldn't read facial expressions or hear any sarcasm. As I mentioned before in one year I have found two men worth talking to.

Let's fast forward and No. You are not getting any details here. All you need to know is there is a man and he is patient enough to allow me to work daily on my trust issues. I try my best to sabotage myself and this relationship on a regular basis. My mantras are "Trust this" and "There is joy in the journey." Not every moment is joyful, especially when Nan is flying off the handle about something stupid. What I have discovered is that even the bumpy parts of this journey cause me to step back, reevaluate, and move on. 

Faith, trust, and pixie dust? Isn't pixie dust just believing? Believing in myself and my ability to make decisions. Belief in my faith. Believing I can trust again. I just need to take those steps fairy size. 

A honeymoon. A divorce. A milkshake.

The day Ed and I were married in Chicago we woke to 8 inches of fresh snow. For a girl who loves winter it was beautiful. For the flight out of O'Hara? Not so aesthetically pleasing. Long story short we missed our connecting flight from San Juan, Puerto Rico to St Johns, USVI. At 2:00am the airline put us up in a very nice hotel (After Ed made it clear that on his honeymoon night we would not be going to the local inn.) Finally arriving to our room we were hungry and exhausted. We ordered chocolate milkshakes. From there on we would celebrate our anniversary with milkshakes.

This last week was the anniversary of our divorce. It was a day to mourn and celebrate. I mourned the loss of a marriage. I mourned my own failure. I mourned the loss of a physical relationship. I mourned the loss of the "traditional" family. I also celebrated. I celebrated my independence, my new found body, my stronger relationships with my kids, and this concept that the world is my oyster (even though I don't eat them.)

I took the time to feel all those emotions as they related back to a marriage and a divorce.

Here is the good part of Ed and our journey. As we left the courthouse that afternoon Ed turned to me and said "Want to get a milkshake?" Off we went to Kilwins, sat outside sipping our chocolate milkshakes.

Today as we had our regular Sunday dinner with the kids and grandparents we ordered a chocolate milkshake and toasted each other. Together we can celebrate that we made the right decision for both of us individually and as a couple. 

Hanging out the "I'm Single" Shingle

About a year ago I decided to start dating.

Here is what I can share with you, my dear friends. 

-Many men think the only way to take a picture of themselves is in the mirror. Honestly! Can they not ask the mail carrier to take a picture? Something. Anything so we can see some environment other than THE BATHROOM!

-I also don't get men that only post pictures of all their toys. Cars, motorcylces, ATV's, boats. 

-Men in their 40's are looking for women in their late 20's and 30's. This leaves me all the distinguished men in their 50's and 60's. 

-Men in their 20's and 30's are not, I repeat, NOT looking for cougars. The media lies.

-The "players" will use all dating sites. How do I know this? Because if your profile says you like to share a bottle of wine during a romantic dinner I can bet you are not Mormon on an LDS single site.

-Dating at 46? Sucks.

-For every 50 guys 1 will be worth talking to. I have found 2. It's a slow process.

Looking....

A confession. My Gang.

Don't you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.  -Jo Blackwell-Preston I belong to a gang. We are called the Gooseberry Gals. We were formed approximately 20 years ago.We didn't become official until June of 2011. Don't mess with us. We have a variety of skills. A few wield sharp knives and could out cook you. A couple of us, but one in particular could out organize you. Several of these women could drop you to the ground with their written word. One could take you to your knees with her willingness to serve others. As a gang we can find more yummies in a grocery store and create an impromptu five star meal in less than 20 minutes. We can judge your chocolate as a failure, passable, or intoxicating with one taste.  These women can take you to the heart of your problem and calmly sit by you as you seek an answer. Did you notice that they do not solve your problem? They stay with you, supporting you, asking the right questions, listening, and providing gelato.  We can handle some scary nasty stuff... divorce, menopause, becoming a mother in-law, teenage boys who struggle and don't seem to fit in, aging parents, becoming a grandma, who are we when our kids leave home, dating at 46, what do we do with our marriage when the kids are gone, death. By the way at times several of these events can occur at once. We can look at it all and not flinch. We band together, walk on, head held high, loving each other's children as our own, laughing and thinking of the next meal. Did I mention beauty? All of us are jaw dropping beautiful women. Possibly it is the knowledge that we are a gang. We can be ourselves with no judgement. We bring out only the best in each other. I would post a picture, but I need to protect identities for obvious reasons.  I love this gang. Our individual talent, strength, intelligence, and beauty will stun you. As a group of seven? No outside force stands a chance.