Over the last few weeks as I have scrolled through my social media reel I have been regularly bombarded with comments, quotes, news threads, memes, and videos.
Some are uplifting. Some, not so much.
This week we followed up a trip to the zoo with a night of dancing and Disney World.
Each of those outings should be joyful. Adventurous. Educational. Exciting. Memory bubbles.
Each ended in loss. Deep, painful loss.
Memory bubbles that people involved or who witnessed want to burst.
However it appears we are all now award winning specialists in parenting, corporate business, guns, political science, zoological studies, Photoshop and meme creations.
Yet as I scroll...I continually remind myself I admire and respect the diversity of my friends.
I have yet to hide or unfriend someone because of their posts.
But I think we need a little eye exam.
We keep blaming people.
People we have never met.
We judge people we don't know.
We unfriend someone because their posts annoy us, rub the wrong way.
Or tell people to unfriend us if they don't agree with us.
We keep pointing our finger at someone. Anyone.
We are all crammed in here.
Someone is going to get a finger in the eye.
I've been judged since I was little. Poked in the eye you could say.
Here is a list I started of the times I recall someone making a judgmental comment.
My freckles.
For saying "aunt" instead of "ant".
In middle school when we were learning about WWII and the Nazi involvement. My maiden name is Weitzel. My great great grandparents came over from Germany. A kid asked me if I was a Nazi...in the 70's in rural Ohio.
I participated in band and drama in high school.
During college I was called a N lover because my boyfriend was black. Some of you just judged me. Either because I dated a black man or because I referred to the N word or because I didn't say the N word.
Then I converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. LDS. Mormons.
I was judged for choosing to have three babies instead of stopping with the American nuclear family.
Not coloring my hair.
Wearing my hair short.
My physical size.
Leaving the LDS church.
Online dating.
I post too many pictures about ice cream and #foodporn.
There are those of you who would say it's more along the line of teasing. But teasing means you aren't comfortable with something or someone different than you.
The judgment isn't new. We have all experienced it.
It's public now. It's on a larger scale.
It's not just about freckles anymore.
Social media means we can do it behind the keyboard.
We don't even have to respond. We just blindly post...point our finger...and walk away. No responsibility for our verbal or meme actions.
We are cyber bullies.
Even if it's for LGBT rights. We are bullies.
Even if it's for religious freedom. We are bullies.
Even if it's for animal rights. We are bullies.
I fully believe in the freedom of speech. But if all you do is talk, shout, yell, scream...
We..the adults... have become nothing more than a nation of toddlers having a tantrum and won't take a breathe long enough to listen to the adults around us who might be willing to compromise...or just ask a clarifying question.
Here is the thing.
Mr. Z. If you know him. Friends with him on social media. You know he is pretty conservative when it comes to his political views.
I, on the other hand, am not as conservative. More of the bleeding heart, give the money to the children, but can we repair the USA before we go trying to fix other countries? Patriotic down to my toes. And yes, I think we should have guns...with limits.
As you can guess Mr. Z and I do not see eye to eye on all things political.
You ask, How do we do it?
We talk. Actually talk. And...get this, we listen. Listen with the intent to understand.
We listen so we can explain to others what makes our love tick.
Also. We clearly understand, accept, feast and revel in the mere fact that our political views are not what make us...individuals or a couple.
There is SO much more to know, learn from and love about a person.
My goal?
“...people
change, even good people, if they get the wrong thing in their head. And not
everything is always what it looks like and sometimes just because one person
looks weak, they might be very strong, and another person might look like a
spooky freak but he might be one of the kindest people you'd ever meet. And I
guess I learned that time is slippery...We have to enjoy every second, love
with all our hearts, all we can, while we can.” -Lee Thompson
Personally I think there are better ways to express our thoughts, beliefs, opinions.
First, if you don't like what you see. It irritates your eyes? Scroll on.
Second, open your fists.
Third, breathe.
Fourth, truly make a heartfelt attempt to listen with understanding.
Fifth, make educated decisions about what you post. Post to cultivate.
