Last Saturday was the first time I looked at the clothes I was wearing at the time of our accident.
My shirt and one of my favorite sweaters were cut off me due to my spinal fractures and broken ribs.
(Although I am not quite sure how the way too old bra was saved)
Above are my jeans.
That big gaping hole...
Yep, my bum deal.
Obviously I have had plenty of time to reflect, pray, listen, contemplate, and generally...wait.
During this time I have attempted to remain positive and focus on the obvious blessing that I am alive. Many of you, dear friends, have commented on my positive outlook, the grace I have handled it all, and ability to laugh in the face of a pain in the arse.
Well. There are days I didn't reflect that and I want to be sure to be honest with you.
Days where I laid in bed and whimpered. Days where I was just plain done with someone having to clean and bandage me. Days where I wanted to sit down without thinking of how and where to sit. How long will I have to sit? Are the seats cushioned? How many potholes are on that road? Should I take another route? I'm sick and tired of wearing the same clothes because they don't pinch the wound or stitches. Having to be concerned about bumping into someone or something in a crowd. Tired of documenting my pain relievers.
Yet, in the end (ha) I am blessed.
My spinal x-rays came back clear this week.
My wound is healing.
So I take my detours and find new ways to travel. Seat cushions stay in both cars in case the seats are hard. I have found new ways to travel Jackson and relish the newly paved roads. I went thrifting and picked up a few new tops and skirts.
Minor repairs, but they help.
During this time I have thought about how do I respond to others when they are in need of service?
I have been blessed to have a handful of people who have been...lifesavers...for three months they have helped with household chores, sent me messages, given medical advice, listened to me whine and cry, looked at the yucky bum pictures, have driven me to appointments, have provided laughter and light.
How do pay it forward? Because I know not one of them would ask for a pay back.
During this time I have been flooded with love from Terry. He has shown patience when I have been weepy. He has pushed me to do a bit more daily. He put me to bed when I needed more rest. He has fed me. Bathed me. Held me.
And looked at this bum deal almost daily since May 14th.
He jokes that he is making deposits into our emotional account for when I need to take care of him...but somehow being a fully functioning adult and having someone take care of your most basic needs feels like a huge debt to pay back.
I will.
Gladly, with interest.
My lovelies...
This bum has been an ordeal.
It's not over yet, but the largest portion is complete.
Thank you for your prayers, support, concern, and laughter.
Now, onto new adventures with my love.
